Monday, February 18, 2008

What Makes Great TV, Great?

Well according to the announcer who reads the voice overs, it could be any of many things. American Idol season 8, surprisingly enough, still manages to find the futile remnants of talent in third world high school gymnasiums across the US. I still find it amazing that the clip show and harsh editing of all of these shows to portray every participant to be most sophisticated in nature, and yet oh so aurally challenged when it comes to show time. The news media grabs it up every time, and most certainly, big record labels are looking for the next William Hung to hang out to dry with the rest of the Rueben Stoddard's.
But need not worry if this type of reality series is beyond your grasp, flip on over to the CW Philly and be sure to catch "Girlicious" presented by the pussycat dolls. Now I have seen some great television programming moments, mainly I try to speak of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge on SpikeTV, but when it comes to gratuitous amounts of 18 - 20 somethings frolicking around in their under-oo's, and I guess singing, well my friends, this I say is the epitome of family entertainment. The challenge counts down through elimination of all these girls to narrow it down to the new pussy cat doll inspired girl group "Girlicious" hosted oh so gleefully by our most trustworthy of knowledgeable hosts Mark Mcgrath. Hey Mark, good to see you back, thought your stint over there on Extra was most sensible in this oh so crazy world. But once again, lead singer of Sugar Ray, dater of Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, and Paris Hilton, you have made another bold move and went with a show that will encourage you, as an artist, to grow and enlighten the world. The first episode also had guest appearances by Lil Kim, Nelly Furtado, and some lady who has claimed to work with the real pussycat dolls. Her face looks like a brick of cement with wax lips on it, but that is beside the point. Great TV is what we are shooting for here.
If all else fails, MTV, please don't let me down. I really feel like that previous sentence would be almost equal to saying, "Hey JFK, try not to get laid alright?" Well MTV is throwing Tila Tequila back in the mix. Apparently, "Settling down" as the basis for a TV show to end all shows, was really the settling into a prime time spot of our favorite myspace golden bicycle. Everyone has taken a ride, and MTV has just passed it on to their little brother MTV2. You know, the one that still will play a music video here and there, but you should really watch mtv3 for that one.
You know what, just play it safe and click your free on demand button if you have Comcast cable and watch anything Mel Brooks, or the Zucker Brothers have ever made or participated in. You will come away with "loosely" the same morals as these horrible last dying breathes of "breakthrough" reality tv has left to gasp. I mean hell, it worked in blazing saddles, didn't it? And I just wanted to let you know, Good luck we are all counting on you.